Choices for Male Couples

More men than ever before are becoming parents together.

Nearly 28% of male spousal couples in the U.S. are raising children40

Your best option will depend on several factors, including sperm quality, surrogacy options, and finances. A good first step for many men is to have their semen analyzed by a specialist, which can help determine the viability of various fertility treatment options and next steps.


Biological fatherhood for gay males will include a surrogate, the woman who carries the baby from fertilization to birth for an individual or couple.

  • In traditional surrogacy, the woman who’ll carry the pregnancy contributes her own eggs to be fertilized with the sperm and will share a genetic link to the child. In these cases, conception’s achieved through intrauterine insemination (IUI), in which a healthcare provider places sperm directly into the uterus through the cervix using a catheter41
  • In gestational surrogacy, sperm and donor eggs are used to make embryos that are transferred into the surrogate’s uterus. In these cases, the surrogate has no genetic bond to the child. Via in vitro fertilization (IVF), the eggs and sperm are collected and placed together in a laboratory dish to fertilize42

For gay male couples, the egg donor may be known or selected anonymously through an egg donor agency. The age of the egg donor is one of the most important factors affecting the outcome of IVF. Because fertility declines with age, the egg donor should ideally be in her 20s to early 30s.43 Once selected, the donor will undergo an intensive screening that includes medical, psychological, genetic, and infectious disease tests, and also meets with an independent reproductive attorney.44

Advice and Support

Consider leaning on support groups for emotional and logistical support. One such organization is Men Having Babies.

Men Having Babies (MHB), Inc. offers unbiased surrogacy parenting advice and support for gay men worldwide. MHB provides educational and practical information to assist gay prospective parents achieve biological parenting. MHB also promotes the affordability of surrogacy-related services for gay men through financial assistance and the encouragement of transparency and customer feedback.

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